Broken Hearts and Answered Prayers

As I write this, there is a little copper dachshund nestled so close to me that I am having trouble typing. I am not complaining, because I kind of like the sweet little nuisance. But this time last week, was a different story.

Olivia introducing Jack Eliot to snow. He was not impressed.

We had woken normally, and let our dog of about 6 or 7 years, Jack Eliot, out to potty, like we always do. It was an extra cold day at about 20 degrees, and so Kevin had made sure to bundle Jack up into a sweater and jacket to keep him warm. I always worried about his thin little legs and feet on days like that one. About 20 minutes later, as we all started to gather up our things for work and school, we called Jack Eliot (named for the sweet dog in The Lake House, and my favorite poet, T.S. Eliot) to come in. Oddly, he did not come running. He hated cold, and so he would usually be waiting for us at the door when it was time to come in.

Jack looking regal

This sent off a warning bell in my head, but I pushed it back, and we all four went out to call for him. After about 15 minutes of calling, and walking around the house, and honestly, getting a little frustrated with Jack, I decided I had to get the girls to school, and me to work. Kevin
offered to stay till 8 looking for him, even though that would make him late.

On the way to school, the girls and I prayed that Jack would be warm, and that we would find him waiting on the porch for us when we returned home. I was comforted by the fact that it was supposed to warm up to the 50s later that day. Lauryn-Elizabeth had made a prophetic (though
we did not know at the time) comment that Jack could have slipped on a log into the small creek that ran beside our house in the woods. I told her there was no way that had happened. I put it out of my mind, and focused on work as much as I could, but little worries nudged the corners of my mind all day.

Still, I was not SERIOUSLY concerned. This is the dog that survived being run over by a car. Not hit….run completely over. He survived a massive attach of heartworms. Both times, he was on death’s door, and came back stronger than ever. So, I truly did not think anything was wrong with Jack. I thought he had just run off chasing a smell, and would certainly be home when we returned. Nothing could kill that little trouper!

Jack Eliot looking at his "Welcome Home" banners

after his miraculous recovery when I ran over him.

But, that was not to be.

When we got home, there was no Jack Eliot waiting at the door for us, no excited eyes, no wagging tail. The empty driveway filled me with dread. I was pretty sure what that meant; Jack was nothing if not a loyal dog. He would have been home if he were able. But still, I had some hope. So, we three girls began to search. (Kevin was still at work.)

And then it happened.

I had walked to the back corner of the backyard, while Liv had been searching the woods in front of the house, where Jack spent most of his day usually. But Liv had slipped in to the backyard to search with me, and saw him.

He had slipped into the pool and drowned.

(Let me interject here, that my heart breaks at the thought of Olivia finding him this way. Two hearts have never been so intertwined as Olivia and Jack Eliot. They truly were best friends. He seemed to know her thoughts, and she loved him fiercely. I desperately wish it had been me.)

Her screams shook me. I mean really shook me. It was a sound I have never heard come from Olivia’s mouth, and I hope I never do again. I ran to her, but she just ran inside the house before I could make it over to her. In the process I slipped on our deck. At that moment, I guess I was too hopped up on adrenaline to notice, but later I realized I had seriously injured myself. (I limped for a few days afterwards.)

Lauryn-Elizabeth had heard the commotion by this time, and came running over, a palpable fear on her face and a panic in her eyes. I told her, and she joined Liv in screaming. I grabbed them, and just tried to hold them, but my pain was great, too. I had loved Jack deeply as well.

This moment ranks as one of the worst Mommy moments ever. I could not make things better when their grandmother had died, and I could not make things better now either. And they just…kept….screaming…..

That is a moment I will never forget, as much as I wish I could.

The next hour is a blur. We cried together, and went to our rooms and cried separately. I went outside and stood in the backyard and argued with God for a bit. I remember just crying, and asking why in the world would he break the girls’ hearts like that.

In the end, we all sat in the living room, and cried together. Kevin had gotten home by this point, and so together, he and I tried to explain it to the girls so that they could accept it. But I am pretty sure we failed.

The girls slept with me that night, and the following night. They were having nightmares, and
Liv could not get the memory of what she had seen in the pool out of her mind. Neither child was sleeping well, but Liv was waking with dark circles of sadness under her eyes. She was despondent, and I was really worried about her. I prayed over and over for their hearts to heal.

And then, God stepped in.

A friend sent me a message that she had seen a dachshund on Facebook for free! I knew that getting another dachshund was risky, but Olivia told me that as long as our next dog did not look like Jack Eliot that she could handle it. So I crossed my fingers, and looked at the picture. The dachshund was a girl, and a beautiful copper brown- nothing like Jack.

So, I called about her, and we went over after Liv got out of soccer practice for the day. I was cautiously optimistic, and warned the girls that we were only going to look…..not to necessarily take her home.

We drove to the house (stopping at the wrong house two times in the process) and cautiously walked up to the door. The dachshund’s owner was already waiting at the door holding her. It wasn’t love at first sight. Olivia stood aloof while Lauryn-Elizabeth sat on a bench and held the dog. She smiled tentatively at me, and the dog shivered, but then looked up and gave Lauryn-Elizabeth a lick on her chin. I sat beside her and the dog looked at me, clearly scared, but willing to let me pet her and hold her.

Then I asked Olivia if she wanted to hold the dog. She was hesitant. I knew she was scared to love another dog, maybe not even ready. But she took a chance, and held the dog. And then she
smiled. And I knew we were taking the dog home.

Natalie, as we call her, had fit right in. She loves to snuggle with us, and is playful and cheerful, and is already one of the family. She brought joy back into our family. I still don’t know why God allowed Jack to be ripped away so suddenly, but I can accept it because he provided a
way out. He answered our prayers by sending us Natalie.

Thank you, Natalie, for bringing joy back into our house again.

We love you Jack Eliot. We will never forget you. Thank you for the joy you brought us. We were proud to be your family.

Treasure Hunting

Recently I have been introduced to the world of Geocaching. While we were in Idaho, my family had a free day, so we decided to try out some geocaching. We had so much fun (Even tho we did not find the first one we looked for)! However, we did find our second cache, and from then on we were hooked. We found a few caches in Utah, and now in our hometown. On Father's Day we found a few caches in Kevin's hometown, Elba. Yesterday we went out with a fellow geocacher Beverly Brown and logged 6 caches. I even found my first Geocoin! We have plans to go geocaching in Birmingham on Thursday, and Tallassee on Friday!

Liv finding "The Crabby Turtle"

Lauryn Elizabeth's Bday!

Today my youngest turns "double digits!" We took her out on Friday, since Sundays are so busy, to Joe's Crab Shack. But first, we took her to get our "double digit tradition" done--ear piercings!

In our family, the girls have to wait till they are old enough to actually take care of their ears before they can get them pierced. It is a rite of passage to get earrings in the Dewberry house. So, 10 is the age of privilege. She was actually, more nervous than I expected her to be. She was so afraid it was going to hurt. I thought, for a few minutes, we might have to cancel the tradition, or at least postpone it, as she flinched and showed extreme fear. We had to stop the process a few times, while she got her breath, but in the end, she came away with earrings!

BEFORE: Naked Ears :)

AFTER: Dressy Ears!!

Afterwards, we went to eat at Joe's Crab Shack. Lauryn-Elizabeth has been craving crab legs for weeks, so she was VERY excited.

For dessert, the girls got to paint their own rice crispy treats, which I will admit, looked so fun, I wish I could have painted some too!




While we were there, the Cotton Eye Joe broke out (I was so disappointed; I had run to the restroom and missed it.) Apparently, the workers were dancing incorrectly, and the girls had to instruct them the correct dance ;)

Joe's Crab Shack has a birthday custom of making the birthday girl do something fun (read: embarrassing). They had Lauryn-Elizabeth dress as a fairy princess and run around the room with her wand saying "Yippee Cay-yay! It's my birthday!"

On Sunday, her actual birthday, wanted her to have some fun too, so Liv and I schemed together to make Lauryn-Elizabeth a scavenger hunt. She started just after lunch. Here is the video of that. She was running SO fast! I was REALLY struggling to keep up.

It's Lauryn-Elizabeth's Day!

May 24, 2011, was really Lauryn-Elizabeth's day to shine. It was Awards Day for Eden, as well as the breakfast for the Top 25 in 3rd and 4th grade. She brought home 9 certificates and awards. We were so proud!

I was so pleased to see her get in the Top 25 in 4th grade, as well as the Top Average in her class, but I think the award that I was the most proud that she received was the Principal's Award. This award is perhaps the most coveted award, and only one is given out for each teacher's class per grade. Before the Principal's Award is presented, a paragraph is read about that student.

This is what was said about Lauryn-Elizabeth.

In a class full of phenomenal students, it is very difficult to choose just one for this award, so I asked the students to choose. This is what her classmates said about the student they thought most deserving: She is extremely intelligent, she always does her best, she never gets in trouble, and she never has to be told something more than once. She is helpful, inspiring, unique, trustworthy, sweet, responsible, and caring. She always goes above and beyond what is expected. She loves school and all of her friends. Her manners are perfect, and she is silly, fun, and funny! She treats everyone exactly how she would want them to treat her. Lauryn-Elizabeth Dewberry is one outstanding girl! Thank you for being a joy to teach, a true ray of sunshine! Thank you for praying with and for your class, and giving us such a beautiful example to follow! You’re amazing!

I'll admit, I was extremely teary after hearing such sweet things about my youngest baby. After she received the award, I went to Mrs. Smart to thank her for being such a wonderful teacher, and she told me that she asked the students who they wanted to give the award to, and told them to write it on a sheet of paper and explain why. She said they overwhelmingly picked Lauryn-Elizabeth. They all thought she deserved it most. She said the paper stack was thick with reasons why she should have the award. She also mentioned that as the paragraph was being read about Lauryn-Elizabeth, the whole class was pointing at her!! They knew it was going to be her!!

Later on, some of her former teachers thanked me for sharing her with them.

This is the stuff that makes a Mommy proud.

(I am attaching the video I made of Awards Day. I shortened all the talking so that you can see most of her awards in less than 5 minutes. I tired to add music, but for some reason it was causing the video to be inaudible. So I finally gave up. Don't forget you can enlarge the video by clicking on the arrows that point out on all four corners at the lower left hand side of the video.)

A Short Poem

I wrote this today. Not all that great, but here ya go. :)



Only little a little while...

Longing for the days of her youth,

I watch as she stretches; grows...

Very beautiful, this woman-child is, teeterin between make-up and dolls.

In a little while she chooses one- not the other,

And I smile, partly in pride and partly in sorrow.

MY HAIRCUT ESSAY

Lauryn-Elizabeth Dewberry

September 2010

Chapter 1

Snip! Snip! That’s the sound of my hair being cut! I will never forget the afternoon I got my super best haircut.

I was so happy when school was out for the weekend! I was going to kick my shoes off and watch TV. when I got home. Well, I thought I was going home. You know, until we turned in the wrong direction! Oh, no! We only come this way for one reason, to get my hair cut. Gulp, I had been trying to convince my mom to let me get a really short haircut but I never thought it would happen! I thought it would be fun to get it cut so short, but now I felt nauseas. All I could hear in my head was “Snip! Snip! Cut! Cut! Itch! Itch!” I’m bald! Would I really become bald? I hoped my imagination was wrong, but it didn’t matter. We were walking in the barbershop.

Oh, no! I saw so much hair on the on the ground! I just knew I was going to be bald! In fact, so much hair was on the floor, I slipped on it. Ouch! “Mama, I don’t want my hair so short!” But she didn’t hear me. She was talking to the hairdresser about how short I wanted it. Oh No! It was all over because before I knew it, I was in the barber seat.

“Mrs. Stephanie,” I said over the horror that I was feeling. “I’m scared about getting my hair cut so short. I still want my hair cut that short, just don’t make me bald!”

“What are you talking about” Mrs. Stephanie said. “I’m not going to make you bald! I promise you will look just fine.”

“Ok then, you get those scissors and start cutting away,” I said, more confident than I had before.

Chapter 2

After that all I could do was listen to her cut off what felt like 7 inches, and stare at the hair covering the floor. Is this really happening? Did I let her cut my hair? Snip, snip, cut, cut! This time I imagined I would love it. Would I really love it? I truly hope so.

“Mrs. Stephanie, are you almost done?” I said hoping she was. “I really want to see what I look like.” Just a few more cuts. Snip! Snip! “Please be done, because, well, for some crazy reason I could not bear it any longer.

Suddenly, I felt that she was done and “Wa La!” She said, letting me look in the mirror. As I turned to the mirror, I felt so excited. When I turned to the mirror, I didn’t know what to say. All that came out was, “I love it so much! How could you do any better?” It was just perfect. Why was I so scared about it? I mean, big deal if it was bad, but the best part was that it wasn’t! I was sure that I didn’t have to wear a hat to a wig. It was great! Everyone at school would be surprised at how good it looked. No, no, they would be jealous at how good it looks.

“Thanks,” I said. “It couldn’t be better!”

Lauryn-Elizabeth

Lauryn-Elizabeth's teacher asked the parents to write "a million words or less" on our child. This is what I wrote.

Lauryn-Elizabeth Reed Dewberry is the second and last child in our family. When she was born, I remember wondering how I could possibly love her as much as I loved my oldest daughter, Olivia. But Lauryn-Elizabeth solved that problem for me immediately, because she is so very lovable.

I have never known anyone with such an inexhaustible love for life and for others. While she has very definite dreams and plans for her own life (she wants to be a rock star), her focus tends to be on others and how she can help someone else. Last year, she created a charity called H.E.L.P. (Help Extra-Loved Pets) This was a charity based on raising money for animals that were in the shelter here in Pell City. She raised an amount of money, and we took it to the Humane Society. She was not even proud, but instead, just wanted to start raising more. Anytime she gets money for her birthday, or Christmas, she always wants to give it to the church, or buy something for someone else with it. Her heart is always looking for ways to serve someone else.

She is unrelenting in her positive spirit. Nothing ever seems to bring her down for long. One thing that will give her pause is when she sees unfairness in the world. She is still so rosy-eyed, that when she finds something that should not be, it rocks her a bit and she will talk to me about ways to fix the injustice she has come across. She has such a tender heart that I fear all the time that it will get broken into pieces one day.

She wakes up every day singing, and pretty much does not stop until it is bedtime. She makes up songs all the time, and always wants to share them with me. One of my favorite moments in time occurred when she was about 5 or 6, and had written me a song during free time at school. It was all about how much she loved me and would always be my little girl, no matter how old she grew. I have that on video, and still sing it to myself on occasion.

Lauryn-Elizabeth is also very creative. She writes songs, comes up with dance routines and gymnastics routines. She loves to write stories, too. She is a fantastic artist. I save scrap paper for her and she will create the most elaborate things with something that others would have thrown in the trash.

She is also very athletic and loves to play soccer and basketball. She will even start football in a few weeks.

She LOVES pigs.

One thing that I simply love about her is how affectionate she is. She hugs her family, and tells us she loves us and kisses us constantly. Her daddy calls her “snuggable,” because she is SO cuddly and sweet all the time. I love her so much.

Lauryn-Elizabeth is one of those rare souls that simply has no room for second rate in her own life. She really wants to be the best at everything, and so she pushes herself to strive for excellence. She has never made anything but an A on a report card, and is in Gifted. I am forever amazed at her.

I could fill page after page of stories that show her warmth and affection, or that tell of her striving for excellence, but I will end with a story from this summer.

On July 4th, we were in Fairhope with some family watching the fireworks over the Mobile Bay. We had been waiting for a few hours for the show to start, and Lauryn-Elizabeth had used that time to work on a sand castle. She had created a pretty elaborate castle with several turrets and a bridge and moat. She was very proud of it, but we stopped her building so she could eat supper with us. She was very worried that the castle would get stepped on (there were kids playing football nearby), and made her father and I promise to watch it carefully as we ate and protect it. We were nearly done with our food, and had “saved” her sand castle several times from being smashed by different kids.

And then it happened.

A group of teenagers went racing by, and one of the girls in the group stepped right on the middle of Lauryn-Elizabeth’s creation. It was like slow motion. Kevin yelled “No!” I screamed “Oh No!” and the poor girl who did the deed stopped dead in her tracks, covered her mouth and breathed a deep, “I’m so sorry!” I stared at her open mouthed for a moment, and then swiveled around to check on Boo (Lauryn-Elizabeth). She was crushed. Her face crinkled into tears and disbelief.

And then, she stopped. She squared her shoulders, relaxed her face, walked over to the squashed creation, knelt down, and began to fix the disaster. I watched her calmly make the choice, not to yell at the girl, or even to cry over the disaster, but instead, to set herself to re-creating what had been destroyed.

Later on, I asked her, “What made you change? You started to cry, and then you did not. What were you thinking?” Her reply was, “I just decided that there was no reason to be sad about it, when I could just go fix it.” That’s my Lauryn-Elizabeth-an eternal optimist, and one who would rather see the good, than see the bad.

I am so glad that Mrs Smart asked me to write this. It was so fun writing about my Boo!